So I’ve been feeling pretty low lately. I hate complaining, especially because things are completely out of my control and the main reasoning is out of any one’s control. But it does suck.
David from The Rest Is Still Unwritten made a good point on his Sunday post when he recommended that we all just write like no one is reading. Because in all honesty, as a blogger, why should I really care what other people think? I need to write what I’m thinking and feeling in order to portray my utmost honestly. I shouldn’t write to try and please people, in attempt to try and gain more readers. I should write because I love to write. I should write from the heart and if something is on my chest, just get it out in the open because I know that deep down I will feel better in the end.
So here goes nothing.
My little rant of the day…. if you can even call it a rant.
As piddly and measly as this sounds, I haven’t seen C (despite 2 quick trips to his work to say hi) in over a week. Before that, for the past month or so, I’ve only gotten to spend time with him a few nights a week and it’s really starting to get to me now. I know most couples almost seem to thrive on time apart, but C and I aren’t one of those couples. We have been as inseparable as possible since we met just over a year and a half ago. We fully admit to each other that we’re ‘clingy’ and need to be with the other, but we’re both like that and it works for us. We are so madly and deeply in love that we just can’t justify being apart more than we have to (ie. when I’m at work, or when he is at work or school). He is currently in his final semester of school, and although we’ve made it through the grind at the end of his two previous semesters with flying colours, this time it’s a lot tougher.
He’s been working part-time at a grocery store since February to help out with his bills and such. Up until October, things were ok and manageable. He’d get every 2nd or 3rd weekend off meaning we’d get our time together and all was good. All was good up until Halloween time that is. C asked his boss 3 weeks prior to Halloween for the weekend off so we could partake in some cool holiday activities. 3 days before, his boss wrote on the calendar at work – “Not Possible”. From that moment on, it seemed as though his boss had completely turned on him and decided to do no more favours. Ever since then, C has worked every Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. Basically, when I’ve been off work, he’s been working. On top of this, he is in his last weeks of his program and the work is piled right up on him causing lots of stress for him on top of having it be extremely time consuming for him. It sucks.
I really know I should not be complaining, because the job is temporary and it’s just to get him through school. He is literally in the final stretch now of school and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The light being him finally being done school, and being able to get a job which will give him the money to finally move in and allow us to really start our life together. You see! It’s a REALLY good light at the end of that tunnel. But…as much as I tell myself it’s almost over, and it’s not his fault, or any one’s fault at that, I still find myself completely bummed out and very low. I’m just seriously missing my soul mate and my best friend and am at the point where I don’t know what to do with myself without him! I can only clean my house so many times! lol
Here’s hoping the next 3 weeks go by quickly.
There. Phew! Off my chest.